


Metamorphosis

by Aerithbunny



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 05:12:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11052030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerithbunny/pseuds/Aerithbunny
Summary: My submission for the Handerslympics.





	Metamorphosis

Handers Olympics: Metamorphosis

Theme Chosen:

XIII Death  
Key Word: Transformation. Upright position: renewal, endings, destruction and rebirth, action, immortality, new ideas replacing old ideas, physical change, regeneration.   
Reversed: decay, frustration, inaction, ignorance, stagnation, mortality, resentment. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and make no profit from this fanfiction.

Pairing: JustMhanders, mention of: Zevwarden, Merribela, Kanders (past)  
Anders could feel the bile rising in his throat, it tasted almost like the air did-acrid and filled with the scent of blood and ash. The Chantry had been destroyed, and there they all stood. Garrett looked shocked to find out what Anders had done, his face unreadable. This... could go either way, Garrett could destroy him, his mortality seen and used. Anders had only ever been immortal once; when he had chosen to stand against the Templars who chased him, and Justice had saved him. 

But now... if Garrett wanted to kill him, Anders would gladly allow it. He didn't want Hawke to resent him, or his decision. He'd gladly take on the burden of necessary change, even if it meant his life would be just as those he had just taken, merely ash and blood in the air. Sure, his body wouldn't be burned, not right away... but eventually he'd end up just like the streets of Kirkwall, burnt into nothing. 

His decision to raze the Chantry, it was death, but in so much more than a literal sense. Sure, there was literal death involved, but he'd just killed off so much more, such as his ideals, and he’d killed off his own religion, not just those who stood against him and what he had to stand for. He'd done away with the 'we can talk' mentality concerning the rights of his people. He'd done away with his own religion stopping him... what he'd been taught, everything ingrained in him since he was so young. 

Ironically, he remembered the Warden Commander saying that things had to change more, and he argued against it! That it would be too much--too dangerous! How much had he grown since then? It was almost as though Anders had died and been reborn when Justice joined with him; or had he simply matured?

With maturity came pain; but also wisdom and understanding. He remembered how young and naive he had been before, and now... now he awaited Garrett’s judgment. But what was Hawke waiting for? He'd asked the others for their opinions and surprisingly it was Fenris who spoke up against his execution first, with Merrill, then Varric, and lastly Isabela following suit. He was shocked; even if they were his friends, he didn't expect them to accept his decision.

He was not surprised when Sebastian turned on them all and proclaimed that he could not accept this, not with how much he'd blindly loved Elthina. However, it was only when he spoke up that Hawke finally moved and grabbed Anders, pulling him into a searing kiss beneath the burning flames behind them from the Chantry.

Of all the reactions, Anders certainly hadn't expected this. He fell into the kiss, feeling Garrett's familiar pierced tongue on his own. The rogue was holding him so close--as if he might disappear if Garrett let him go. However stagnant the waiting had been before that moment, it was wiped away in that moment.

When they parted from the kiss, Anders realized Hawke was crying as he looked at him. What the tears represented was beyond Anders. Were they tears of pride, of anguish, or of something else? He couldn't tell as the brown eyes seemed to be melting as they observed Anders. 

“I would never kill you.” he said, voice cracking.

Anders sucked in a breath; they were tears of possible loss, of anguish, of distress, and of heartache. He hadn't accounted for Hawke actually supporting him in this. No, Hawke couldn't be dragged down with him through the ashes, through the adversity, and anguish that it would bring. He couldn't be the anchor that led to Garrett's demise and probable eventual hatred, he simply could not allow it. 

“Hawke, I--” Anders began.

“Anders, please let me speak... just this once. I know you have a lot to say, but I have to say this to you.” Garrett remarked, his voice still cracking as the tears fell freely down his face.

Anders gulped and gave a nod. “You asked me once, if I would have an apostate living with me, if I would love an apostate. But the truth is, I couldn't not love you. I lay awake aching for years for you. It was so stagnant... everything hurt, but you were still in mourning. I did not wish to force myself on you, not with Karl and the wound so fresh.   I could never bring up the words to say how I felt.” Garrett admitted.

Perhaps that was why he joked around so much, but Anders truly appreciated his sense of humor. Garrett hid how he felt behind sarcasm until he just couldn't anymore, and then he would say what he truly meant. This appeared to be one of those moments that Anders would get a glimpse of the man beneath the humor. He'd seen it many times in private over the years together, but now they were in public. Garrett seldom let down his guard in public, even around Anders.

“And here you are, thinking you have harmed me once more, when truly... I knew this would come. This city has been burning since Meredith took hold of it, only now is it literally burning. You finally opened the wound so it could heal properly, you are healing this city through fire. And if you think for one moment that I will hurt you for it, well... I knew. I understood that the man I love, the healer, has the bloodiest hands. And we have to commit a murder, the murder of the pain in this city, together. Only then can it heal.”

Anders stood, wide eyed and mouth open. Garrett did understand; and he both appreciated and supported Anders for what he had done. “But what if this ends up getting you killed, or you end up resenting me later...” Anders spoke, anxiety in his chest.

Garrett chuckled and shook his head. Moving in, he wrapped his arms around Anders' shoulders. “I may not be a mage, but if there is something I can do to help free your people, to help my sister who became a Warden, simply because I made sure the Templars couldn't catch her; so no other mage will ever live in fear, I will gladly do whatever is necessary.”

Sebastian had drawn his bow and aimed an arrow at them both. Garrett turned to him, shielding Anders. “You will not stop us this day Sebastian. The death of Elthina was necessary, and you must accept that things cannot stay as they are.” Garrett threatened him.

“He killed her, he destroyed the only place I have ever known acceptance,” Sebastian remarked.

“Acceptance or brainwashing? You are their puppet Sebastian, and you always have been,” Garrett countered.

Sebastian's hand was shaking as he aimed the arrow. There was anger, hatred, and sadness in his eyes. He moved to release the arrow, but Isabela was quicker and knocked him down. The arrow shot up into the air and Varric shot it down harmlessly into the ground. Sebastian quickly recovered, making a threat as he turned to run. 

Hawke sighed, shaking his head before looking back at Orsino. “I would not let this become a massacre, go ahead to the Gallows. We will meet you there.” 

Orsino nodded and ran ahead of them with his mage apprentices following him. Merrill moved next to Isabela, asking her if she had been hurt at all. Isabela smiled, kissed her cheek and told her not to worry in the habit of lovers who knew each other too well. 

But it was Fenris who brought the group back to the issue at hand. “We should give Hawke and Anders a few minutes alone to discuss their strategy. I will have to defend you all in this attack, as Hawke felt it necessary to choose the squishiest of us to follow him,” he joked dryly.

Garrett chuckled, “Oh you know how we like to have fun around here Fenris.”

Fenris rolled his eyes, but his smirk said that he didn't mind all that much. He'd changed his mind about the mages in Kirkwall as he'd gotten to know Hawke, Bethany, and Anders more and actually befriended them. It had taken some time, but Anders had also grown to understand Tevinter more as Fenris explained it.

But that didn't explain to Anders why Hawke was still standing at his side and volunteering to defend the mages. “You are asking me to defend the mages, and damn right I will Hawke but... did you mean it, when you said you would do anything to help the mages?” he asked.

“Anything, and I always have tried to help them, but it was never enough. Why do you still doubt me?” Hawke asked, a hurt look on his face.

“It's just... I didn't think anyone could stay at my side during all this. Doing this, it's like amputating a poisoned limb in order to save the body. I know it will cause damage, that mages will die but...” Anders admitted.

“More mages would have died if you had done nothing Anders,” Garrett replied.

Anders looked up with bright amber eyes, filled with anguish and yet still so warm. The same warmth that had drawn Garrett to Anders in the first place. His soul was like fire, and Garrett was a moth to his flame. Except in this case, he was not burnt by Anders, but rather his own spirit joined with Anders', and they became something more than the moth or the flame. They grew into a blazing fire that no one could stop, and it was a fire of new life, of change-- 

“This isn't an amputation Anders, this is a metamorphosis. This is a change that had to happen, the death of what was wrong. A revolution the mages have needed for years. This war needed to be dragged out into the open; it is the only way to actually save the mages in the long run. I never knew how to say it... how to make it happen, and look at you. You are so much more than a man Anders, but you are a man nonetheless. You are not a monster for this, but rather the healer who will make a true sanctuary of healing and salvation in this world for these mages. It may take us years to achieve that, but there is no one else I could imagine doing this with.” 

Anders bit his lip and smiled a little. “I know... I know it had to be done but, I cannot help but feel the anguish of those who will lose their lives because of my actions. Justice is absolute, and while I know that Justice and I have had difficulties in the past, we had to do this. A solution had to be reached.” Anders admit.

“This world is difficult to find absolutes in, as Isabela once said. But in this case, you are right. This is black and white, and we are on the side of what is good,” Garrett told him.

Anders blushed and laughed a little. “You still know how to make me weak in the knees.”

Garrett stepped forward to lean in once more, kissing him softly beneath the flames around them. He broke the kiss after a long moment, soft brown eyes looking at Anders. He adjusted the red tie in Anders' blond locks, and smirked at him before painting his nose with blood. 

“Anders, you had my soul spellbound from the moment I met you.”

Anders wasn't sure if he'd ever believed in fate. The fate of the mages rested on his shoulders, and he had just changed it forever. Meeting Hawke was fate, and not only for him. Hawke had made the first changes in the lives of their whole crew. He had helped them all transform through the years, culminating in a family of sorts. 

Here Anders stood, with his family of friends, ready to go and take on Meredith and her Templars; to defend the mages and everything he'd espoused for years. To think Hawke and himself were like minded, that Garrett had not only read his manifesto, but listened to him for years and taken everything he said to heart. 

Perhaps he wasn't as alone as he had first thought. This was a beautiful death; flames and ashes filled this city brought to ruin, but a rebirth would come. A phoenix would rise from this, a brand new city, the chains finally broken on all slaves of this city.

Garrett led him down to their friends, where he began to lead them through the city. Mages were fighting for their lives against the attacking Templars. They defended each mage until they ran into Bethany. Bethany, along with Nathaniel, had come from the Wardens as quickly as they could to help. Up ahead more destruction lay, but Garrett faced it head on with everyone--his family--at his side.

When they finally reached the Gallows, it was apparent the Templars outnumbered them, but they were far from outmatched. They ripped open the scars of the city, the wound that had been festering was finally being healed. 

Before the final battle, Garrett gave everyone in the Gallows his best pep talk, and made sure they understood why they were fighting. Not just for their lives, but for the lives of every being who had been born with magic. Anders stood in awe as Garrett recited line after line of his manifesto, eventually jumping in to speak just as fervently as the rogue he called his love. 

Garrett cracked his neck after the speech and eyed Anders, “Are you ready for this?” 

“I was born ready... but Hawke, I am so sorry I doubted you; that I ever imagined you were not truly behind the cause, or held it against you for not being as involved as I was. I am so sorry that I did not think you would stand beside me,” Anders admitted.

“It's alright, truth be told... I was worried when you said that you were going to be removing Justice.” 

Anders frowned. “But why... it is not as though you and him have ever spoken truly, it is-”

“We have spoken,” Garrett interrupted.

Anders paled, “What?”

“We have spoken, and I need you both to know something. You two love each other, you always have. I can tell just by how you speak of one another. Justice has spoken to me of your worries every night when you sleep. He takes over, and we have long conversations. It is not easy on him, or you, but I need you both to know this... you love and care for each other more than you know. Please do not think the other a burden.” 

Anders felt something welling up inside of him, a warmth from Justice that he hadn't felt for a very long time. The stress and misery of their circumstance had blinded Anders to Justice's feelings for so long, he thought the other was just him now but--

No, Justice was there. He could almost feel the translucent arms of warmth and love around him. The spirit was inside of him, not just his own soul, but two souls forever intertwined in their own special feelings of love and adoration. Their need for more, and their misunderstanding finally aired out. It seemed that with the Chantry gone, and the final battle ahead of them, Anders was finally able to feel how Justice felt.

Another metamorphosis had taken place, another cycle of rebirth. The death of misunderstanding each other, of suspicion and anxiety. This change was welcome, but it wasn't the only change to come. Especially when Hawke looked like he had something else to say.

“Anders... there is something else you need to know.” Garrett said softly.

“What is it?” Anders asked.

“Justice didn't want to interfere in our relationship, but he didn't disapprove of me... rather, he was nervous about me and you. He was nervous about whether or not I would approve of him, or love you truly. I don't just only love you, I love him as well. All those nights talking to him, teaching each other... I have feelings for Justice, not just you. I apologize if this is a deal breaker.” 

Anders' eyes were wide, and he felt the warmth that Justice had inside of him bloom into a flower, his body glowed and Justice came forth. There was such confusion and need made plain on Anders’ face.

“Why would you care for a spirit such as I?” Justice asked. 

It was that same anxiety he shared with Anders. He'd had it when he was in the body of Kristoff. It wasn't just Anders' feelings that were overwhelmed, Justice had his own. He'd had his own emotions for as long as he had existed, and perhaps they had changed when he was in Kristoff's and now in Anders' body. But that didn't make him a demon. It made him human in a way. It was the transformation of his emotions since leaving the Fade that had been the death of something he didn't know he had until then--loneliness.

Justice didn't have friends, or family, or love in the Fade. He had a purpose, and he didn't realize that purpose was all of his being until he joined a world where it was not enough. His purpose didn't leave him, he evolved with it. 

“Because you are a spirit and more. You are not just part of Anders, you are your own person as well, Justice. I love you, and I have for a very long time. I do hope I am not overstepping, but I can’t help how I feel, and you need to know,” Garrett answered.

Justice blushed, a dark blue tinge that spread across his cheeks, and he gave a nervous little nod as he leaned in to kiss Garrett. 

While Anders' kiss held expertise and longing, Justice's kiss was demanding while also being completely unskilled. It was actually kind of cute, though Garrett would never tell Justice that.

After that moment of bliss, Justice pulled away and stared at Hawke a bit longer, still blushing. “I would... have you as well, if you will have me,” Justice shyly admitted.

Garrett blushed and returned Justice’s awkward smile before the spirit ceded control, and Anders came back out, blinking in surprise. “I... I saw everything Hawke! Justice and I... something has changed, and yes you can date Justice! You don't need my permission, you're not overstepping... oh Garrett, I-” Anders was rambling, he looked nervous and excited.

“Well I'm glad I have your permission all the same,” Garrett answered with a grin. 

Anders looked at him, with a small smile on his lips, hopeful eyes, and so much more in his expression as he said, “Someday... somebody like me, will love someone like you. And there will be no Templars to tear them apart.”

Those word were like music to Garrett’s ears. It was like hearing bells for the first time, and he couldn't help the tears that leapt to his eyes. Both men looked to be on the verge of crying.

“I will always love you, Anders.”.

With a watery smile, Anders leaned in to give Garrett the final kiss before their battle would begin. Passion seared into it; their star crossed souls mingled, their fates intertwined irreversibly, and this was simply a rebirth of their love. It had evolved to include Justice, leaving no more doubts between them. Garrett knew in that moment, this was the man he would marry. 

The kiss broke and they forged ahead to meet Meredith in battle. Orsino joined them in the brutal battle, and about halfway through, Zevran showed up with the Warden Commander to help.   It was astounding how many people rallied to Anders' side. They all understood this was the final removal of the poison that infected the wound on Kirkwall.

Meredith became a statue with one final scream, and her death... well, everyone knew it was a rebirth, a necessary change. 

They escaped on Isabela's ship, with the Warden Commander making sure it got off shore without any problems. Anders looked at his old friend, and there was a smile in those eyes. Perhaps he had permission, not just from Hawke, but from his friends... and maybe for himself, to finally allow himself to be happy. 

After years of suffering and toil, of being the martyr, of trying to help everyone but himself. He could never let himself be first, and yet.. in that moment, he felt like he might be allowed to.

Which made that night on the ship, when Garrett dropped down on one knee, with a gorgeous ring in hand, seem so much more. Anders never thought he could be married... or be allowed to be married. It was almost like vertigo, going from thinking he would die because he had to... because he had to save the mages of Kirkwall, to happy and engaged; and of course crying in such an ugly yet beautiful way as he said yes to the proposal.

Later that night, Garrett came to his room on the ship. He kissed Anders deeply, felt his body against his own. Their naked forms pressed together, Garrett's hands on his hips, his tongue on his pierced nipple, his heaving chest with the Grey Warden tattoo on it, and Garrett's own dragon-tattooed arm wrapped around him. Their new life was beginning together, which made Garrett's full cock pressing into him, moving inside of him, all that much more.

He came with a long moan of Garrett's name, his legs spread as Garrett groaned out his name and filled him. They rested together after, feeling the gentle rock of the waves on Isabela's ship. Anders looked Garrett like he was everything, and Justice came forth to talk and kiss a few times. 

Their lives had truly started anew. Through a painful metamorphosis, the death of injustice into a future brighter than the sun.   
_______________________________________________________________

AN: thank you all for reading ^^


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